Thursday, January 22, 2009

The New Michael Jackson - Paul McCartney Duet


(Background info: In the 1980s, Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney recorded two top 10 hit duets, “Say, Say, Say” and “The Girl Is Mine”. It was during these sessions that McCartney (who had purchased the publishing rights to the songs of Buddy Holly and others) told Jackson that he should invest in music publishing – there was a lot of money to be made, he advised the younger superstar. The next day, Jackson came into their recording session and said “Yeah, Paul, I’m going to take your advice. I’m gonna buy your songs.” McCartney laughed, thinking Jackson was joking.

A month later, as the publishing rights to the songs of the Beatles became available, McCartney was attempting to buy back the songs he had lost (due to bad management) years ago. McCartney and John Lennon’s widow, Yoko Ono, put in a decent-sized bid together – only to learn that they had been outdone by Jackson. McCartney was so hurt and angry that he and Jackson haven’t spoken since.

This song is an example of what a duet between Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney would be like if they did it today. It is sung to the tune of “The Girl Is Mine”)



THE SONGS ARE MINE

(Jackson): Every time you hear a Beatle song
If it’s taped or if it’s live
I receive a big, fat bonus check
Just like with the Jackson Five.
The songs are mine
The doggoned songs are mine.
They’re mine
The doggoned songs are mine.


(McCartney): I don’t understand the way you think
Saying that they’re yours not mine
John and I would stay up late at night
Writing each and every line
The songs are mine.
The doggoned songs are mine.
Don’t waste your time
The doggoned songs are mine.


(Jackson): I don’t wanna hear you bitch and moan
‘Cause I bought them fair and square
In a package deal from Northern Songs
‘Long with some locks of Ringo’s hair
The songs are mine.
The doggoned songs are mine.


(McCartney): I sung them more than he
(Cheesy Back-up Singers): Sung them everywhere
(Jackson): But I’ll make the royalties
(Cheesy Back-up Singers): He ain’t gonna share



(Together): Our portfolios grow with ease….
But we
Both cannot profit
So one
Of us must drop it
And when
You finally stop it.
You’ll see they’re…
My songs…mine mine mine.


(Jackson): Will you stop singing Yesterday
And admit that now they're mine?
(McCartney): I went down this Long And Winding Road
Was the Thriller of my time
The songs are mine
The doggoned songs are mine
(Jackson): They’re mine
The doggoned songs are mine.


(Spoken Section)


(McCartney) Michael, we’re not going to fight about this, okay?
(Jackson) Paul, I think I told you…I let my lawyers do my
fighting.
(McCartney) Yeah, kind of like that thing with the kid, huh
Michael?
(Jackson) (gasps) That’s below the belt, Paul.
(McCartney) Yeah, that's what I heard, Michael.
(Jackson) I am innocent of any wrongdoing.
(McCartney) I don’t belieeeeeeve it…..


(Cheesy back-up singers): Mine, mine…the songs are mine….

(fade out)

1 comment:

  1. Haha... funniest thing I've read in a while. Peter Serafinowicz should record it!

    ReplyDelete